As promised, an article about my thoughts once I got back to Maine (a lot later than expected, it’s been a tough few weeks).
So let me explain my trip; I flew out of Cologne on July 3rd and arrived in Boston at 3:30pm (EST). I then took a bus to join my host family in New Hampshire and reunited with them around 7pm. I hadn’t slept well the night before and for some reason I wasn’t able to watch any movies during my flight, which meant 9 hours of doing absolutely nothing. I slept most of the time, but still, because of this when I finally arrived in NH I was completely out of it. Seeing my family was strange. I had imagined what it would be like to see them again so many times that when I finally did, it did not actually feel that special because it felt like I had last seen them the day before. I was extremely happy and it did feel great to hug them again, but somehow it wasn’t as magical as I had hoped. They are so familiar to me that it just felt normal to be with them again.
At first I did not know how I felt about being back. I thought it’d feel like nothing had changed, but I was wrong. I think that a part of me thought that going back to Maine would feel like going back in time, like last year hadn’t happened, but that’s not how it works, is it? A lot had changed; my siblings had grown (physically and mentally), I was in a completely different place (mentally), and some of the group of friends that I had known had fallen apart. This was quite hard to accept during the first few days, Maine had become my safe place, where my thoughts would wander when I needed some peace, how dare it become anything less than everything I wanted it to be? The house smelled the same but my room felt different; there was new furniture, new boxes, the mirror wasn’t where I had left it, things had been displaced. It felt like walking into a museum: it looked like my room, but it was not mine anymore.
Seeing my friends again felt wonderful. It always surprises me how you only realise how much you’ve missed someone once you see them again. I guess you get so used to living without them that when they reappear you’re suddenly aware of how much of a hole they had left in your life and how much better your life is with them in it. I can not even explain how much I enjoyed singing at the top of my lungs to Camp Rock with Ana on our way to Portland, how nice it felt to bury my face in Timothy’s neck while sipping on my iced coffee, or how lovely it was to lie on my bed again with Anna and talk about everything and anything.
So as difficult as the first few days were, I quickly got comfortable in this life again and loved it even more than the first time around because I knew exactly how lucky I was to have all of this, to have these people in my life, to have a place in this world that feels like home. So of course, leaving it again was painful, but let’s not get into that now.
My biological parents joined me in Maine on the 9th and on the 10th we drove to Montreal (I’m planning on writing an article about my week in Quebec where I will write about what we did and of course, vegan food!! So stay tuned). After our time in Canada we went back to Maine; 4 days in Brunswick, 3 days in York, and last but not least 3 days near Acadia National Park. We flew out of Boston back to Cologne on the 29th.
Even though it was quite tough to leave everything again, I had such a good time. Definitely the best month of 2016 so far! Going back helped me gain some perspective on everything that happened this past year and being able to get a break from it all, in my favourite place with my favourite people, gave me the strength to deal with it.
Here are some photos!!